Shortshaking – Don't Be Man'hand'led

Mulder

Between my non political day job in technical sales and my political volunteering, I shake A LOT of hands. And I mean A LOT. And in shaking so many hands, I have come to the conclusion that there is one specific type of handshake that I really dislike.

And that is the “shortshake”.

For those who do not know what I mean, a “shortshaker” is the type of person who has a good firm grip, but tends to start the grip “short” or early. This results in the shortshaker gripping the fingers of the “shortshakee” which makes it impossible for the shortshakee to return the grip as their fingers are immobilized by the shortshake.

What I would call a good handshake is when the webbing between the thumb and index finger of both people is close enough so that when both shakers grip their fingertips can curl around the other person’s hand so that both can get a good grip in.

I dislike the shortshake so much that I have started saying things like “let’s do that shake again and let me get a grip this time.” or if it’s someone I am close with I might even say “hey, don’t short shake me…you make me feel like a wimp. Give me a chance to shake your hand properly.” and I will then reshake. My wife thinks this is probably offending the person, and she may very well be right but I have stopped caring.

In actuality, I think the response is either appreciative or earning me a bit of respect. The appreciation comes from those who just have never thought about it and perhaps feel that I have helped them realize what a good handshake is. The respect is a different story. I feel that many shortshakers do it as a sign of power as it leaves the shortshakee in an awkward position. By standing up for a good shake, I am showing those types that I am willing to stand up for myself and that I cannot get walked on.

So stand up to the shortshake with me.

Liberal Saboteurs Feed Stephane Dion A Big Fat Shiftburger

Mulder

I cannot help but think that someone in the Liberal Party must really have a hatred on for Stephane Dion. When I told a friend about this feeling, he quickly responded….”No Shift Sherlock!!”

In naming their new carbon tax a “green shift”, it became quite clear that someone within the Liberal Party has “shift for brains”. I mean let’s look at this seriously.

G – reen
S – hift
T – ax

Bwahhhahhhhahhhhahhhhahhhhhaaaaaaa. For real??? Another GST??? I wonder what kind of “shift” the Liberals were smoking when they came up with this name? When the Gomery commission was going on, Conservatives thought it was the gift that kept on giving. This GST2 is going to be an even bigger gift.

I am simply dumbfounded to think that there wasn’t a single person in the Liberal Party who did not notice this acronym. To top it all off, there is now talk of a lawsuit because the name GreenShift is already taken. Uh Oh!! Somebody really stepped in it this time.

I was further amazed when people immediately starting calling it “the Green Shaft”. It took less than 24 hours for opposition parties to come up with this new nickname. Surely over the past few weeks/months that the Liberal plan was being developed there was a single Liberal somewhere…anywhere, that could have seen this coming from a mile away. If not, then I would think they really are not ready to run a nation.

If we weren’t sure saboteurs existed before, we sure are now. I think this may be an interesting summer to sit back and watch the “shift hit the fan” within the Liberal Party.

Cure For The Hiccups

Mulder

This morning I woke up with a nasty case of the hiccups. In taking care of my problem with my usual cure, it dawned on me to share this with everyone on the web via my blog.

I learned this cure from my sister and have been eternally grateful ever since, for this cure works, bar none, EVERY time I have the hiccups.

Not only is it readily available EVERYWHERE in Canada, it tastes good too.

The answer is a Sour Cream Glazed Donut from Tim Hortons.

Stop laughing. It probably doesn’t have to be this particular type of donut, but simply some form of a cake donut.

I have had the hiccups numerous times with friends in the car and, no word of a lie, one single bite and swallow and I could toss out the rest of the donut because my hiccups are always gone. My friends and co-workers are all astounded and I am hoping some of you out there give this a try and let me know how it works for you.

Not Political You Say??

Mulder

Whenever someone tells me we have been in Afghanistan too long, I tend to tell them that it was having our troops in South Korea for decades that finally allowed that country to flourish as a thriving democracy with such global corporate giants as Samsung and Hyundai. Companies that would never have succeeded under the conditions imposed on those living in North Korea.

Well this is a touching story that goes beyond the politics and corporations and war.

The young man in the video below turned 11 in September of 2007. His name is Sungha Jung. He had been watching his father play guitar and picked one up a little over 2 years ago. I urge you to do two things.

1) click the video below once and watch him play the video I have chosen.

and

2) once the video is over, click the link below the video to go find his page on YouTube and watch some of the other videos he has up. He is a remarkable young man and one whom I am positive would not be playing the western rock songs he seems to enjoy if we were not in South Korea for so long.

You can say this is just one young man, but think of all the other talented people that have been allowed to flourish in a free South Korea and how many more would be allowed to flourish in a free Afghanistan.

Link to Sungha Jung’s Channel on YouTube

h/t to Mac

I'm Waiting For The Man, $26 In My Hand

Mulder

It’s a hot sticky Friday night. Since I look like a narc, I have made sure I haven’t shaved for three days, toss an old Grateful Dead T-Shirt and a beaten up Ottawa Senators hat and head down to Lowertown in Ottawa. As I glide my Honda through the streets, I keep an eye overhead for a sign.

About 5 minutes in, I spot them. An old pair of sneakers tangled up in the overhead wiring. I slowly pull my truck over and wait.

Out of the darknes a shady looking guy with an oversized T-shirt and baggy pants comes over and leans in the window of my truck.

    “Whatcha want man?”

    “Whatcha got?”, I ask.

    “I have some Killer X, man.”

    “Killex?? I’ll take three cans.”, I reply.

    “How about some weed, my friend. You interested in some weed?”

    “Sure”, I say, “Weedex is perfect. Give me two big bottles.”

    “How about some fungus, man? You need some fungus?”

    “Damn straight I reply. Give me a couple of batches of antifungal.”

    “Now man … you need some doses?”

    “Nah… but I’ll have me some nice roses.” I reply. “See you next year my friend.”

This may seem a bit farfetched. But is it really? Look what happens when cigarettes hit $7 or $8 a pack? Everyone and their brother starts buying them out of the back of some guys trunk who has a friend who knows the cousin of the secretary for an agency that hires a manpower guy who used to fix cars for a mechanic who also fixes the car of some lady whose son knows a guy with a boat that skims from a native reserve to and from Cornwall weekly.

In addition to Premier of Ontario, Yellow Bellied McShifty, announcing that the use of chemical pesticides use will be banned, this past week the Supreme Court of Canada said that random searches are illegal, which sent left leaning ACLU types partying into the streets.

This begs the question…

If I have a stash of these illegal pesticides hidden under a tarp in my garage, would having a beautiful, safe, green lawn be enough probable cause for the cops to search my home for the contraban?

Deadlocked

Mulder

Tuesday April 15th was a memorable day for me. I got the phone call right around 6pm telling me about a hockey game between the Conservative MPs and the Liberal MPs taking place here in my riding to raise money for the Bell Kids Help Phone.

I quickly grabbed my Conservative Party baseball cap and scooted on down for the 8pm start.

Walking into the Bell Sensplex, I had no clue which rink to go to but noting one gentleman wearing a small earpiece, I immediately asked him “So which rink is the big game being held in?” He chuckled and pointed to the main rink to the left. You have to love government security guards!

I made my way into the mostly empty stands and waited for the game to start. About 815pm or so, the players started showing up on the ice for warm up and it was clear that more than just MPs were going to be playing when a young Ben Harper skated out on the ice for the Conservative team.

It was right about then that the Prime Minister made his way behind the bench to coach the Tories.

I spent the evening with a group of Conservatives including my MP, the Honourable Gordon O’Connor and Ottawa South nominee Elie Salibi in cheering on the boys in blue.

Conservative fans clearly outnumbered the Liberal fans, but it was nice to see Martha Hall Findlay show up to cheer her team on. Highlight number one of the evening was watching her belt out one heck of a finger whistle when the Liberals scored. She probably whistles better than anyone I know!

Highlight number two came in the second period when Ben Harper skated up the left wing, crossed the puck off the right wing boards where Gord Brown played decoy leaving the puck for speedster Patrick Brown who slid it down low where Ben Harper deflected the puck into the net on a great give and go tip in.

Highlight number 3 happened between the 2nd and 3rd period when the Prime Minister came around to the stands and had photos taken with pretty much everyone who wanted one. It was a pleasure meeting him again.

After one more full period and a five minute scoreless overtime, the final score was 5-5.

Post game there was a small party upstairs in the restaurant/bar where most of the players and a few spectators enjoyed some socializing. I was lucky enough to have my picture taken with the Honourable Jim Prentice and MP Dean Del Mastro who played one heck of a game between the pipes.

A friend of mine wanted his picture taken with Stephane Dion who showed up after the game. After taking two photos of friends with M. Dion, Martha Hall Findlay jumped up and took my camera so I could get a shot with him. I must note, that I am proud to say I wore my Conservative Party baseball hat in the photo. I thanked her and congratulated her on her recent win in the by-elections.

All in all the evening was a treat because it said to me that despite the battling in Parliament and on the ice, all of those involved got together for a good cause and enjoyed some friendly mingling together afterwards. And although the game ended up deadlocked, the winner was the Bell Kids Help Phone.

CTV Screws Up Poll Question On Peace Tower Flag Biasing Results

Mulder

This morning on CTV’s Canada AM they are having a poll on flying the flag on the Peace Tower at half mast. The Liberals are proposing a motion that would have this flag fly at half mast when a soldier dies. Yet never in history has this one flag been lowered for an individual soldier. That was something done everywhere else in the nation. But the Peace Tower is different. It is representative of the nation and has set dates which it is lowered.

Well when i went to vote at the CTV poll on this subject today I noticed that the question does NOT mention it is for the PEACE TOWER and simply states “Should the flag be lowered every time a Canadian soldier is killed?”

As the results will be tied to the Peace Tower, this question is obviously going to misrepresent the nation’s opinion because we ALL know the flags should be lowered for soldiers. Just NOT on the Peace Tower.

I urge you all to vote with me NO on this issue. Click Here to vote.

Below is a jpg screenshot of the misleading question.

CTVpollerror1.jpg

OfficiallyScrewed NCAA Tournament Pick 'Em Pool

Mulder

Well I am going to give this another crack. Last year turn out was slim pickins so hopefully this year we get a bit more hype going.

The NCAA Men’s Basketball final 64 tournament is probably one of the most exciting tournaments in sports and we are going to once again run an open AND FREE basketball pool using Yahoo’s pool tracking system.

Signing up is easy.

Picking your teams is easy.

Picking the winners??? That’s a whole different story.

The link below goes directly to the sign up page for our league with the password already plugged in.

We encourage you to take advantage of Yahoo’s email notifier upon sign up which tells you when the final 64 teams are closed. At that time you can log in and pick your teams. But don’t wait long. The teams are selected on Sunday March 16th, and the first rounds begin on the Thursday Marcy 20th at NOON!!! (with the preliminary game on Tuesday March 18th.

This year I am digging deep into my pocket and willing to send the winner of the pool an OfficiallyScrewed.com coffee mug. I know I know, I’m breaking the bank on this one. But heck, it’s not like there is a cost to play. This is FREE!!!!

So good luck, have fun and enjoy the tourney.

Sign up Link Below

OfficiallyScrewed.com Basketball Pool Sign up Link