Between my non political day job in technical sales and my political volunteering, I shake A LOT of hands. And I mean A LOT. And in shaking so many hands, I have come to the conclusion that there is one specific type of handshake that I really dislike.
And that is the “shortshake”.
For those who do not know what I mean, a “shortshaker” is the type of person who has a good firm grip, but tends to start the grip “short” or early. This results in the shortshaker gripping the fingers of the “shortshakee” which makes it impossible for the shortshakee to return the grip as their fingers are immobilized by the shortshake.
What I would call a good handshake is when the webbing between the thumb and index finger of both people is close enough so that when both shakers grip their fingertips can curl around the other person’s hand so that both can get a good grip in.
I dislike the shortshake so much that I have started saying things like “let’s do that shake again and let me get a grip this time.” or if it’s someone I am close with I might even say “hey, don’t short shake me…you make me feel like a wimp. Give me a chance to shake your hand properly.” and I will then reshake. My wife thinks this is probably offending the person, and she may very well be right but I have stopped caring.
In actuality, I think the response is either appreciative or earning me a bit of respect. The appreciation comes from those who just have never thought about it and perhaps feel that I have helped them realize what a good handshake is. The respect is a different story. I feel that many shortshakers do it as a sign of power as it leaves the shortshakee in an awkward position. By standing up for a good shake, I am showing those types that I am willing to stand up for myself and that I cannot get walked on.
So stand up to the shortshake with me.
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This is an amazing post. It’s funny you brought this up, I was practicing hand shaking with my 14 year old sis yesterday, who has a pretty stong forearm, and I was telling her that the hardest and firmest handshake I got was from an Italian priest in Etobicoke. The man almost broke my hand. I grip, but I hesitate to be too firm, I don’t want the “shake-ee” to react with a firmer grip………one like the priests.
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I agree with you on the short-shake , but a really disgusting one is the wet dish rag shake,especially if the hand is clammy .
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Yes, this hand shaking ritual can sometimes be quite revealing. Yesterday I was introduced to an alpha male type personality and was then greeted with what I would imagine as a handshake with an inflatable sex doll…….you never know!
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Yeah, this annoys me as well. Best way to avoid it, IMO, is to ‘rush’ your hand forward with your index and middle finger extended against the inside of their wrist. The structure of your hand in this position makes it impossible for anyone to crush your hand, while allowing a firm grip on your part.
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Many people have arthritis in their finger joints and hands and find it very painful to endure a “manly” handshake.
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Shortshaking is annoying, but the worst, for me, is the limp dish-rag. It just makes me shudder, it is thoroughly creepy. Don’t try to break anyone’s fingers, but man or woman, a firm grip and a solid, though not overdone, pump or two, then a definite release, (don’t drag your fingers through their hand)is, imo the best hand-shake.
Oh yeah. If you’re not looking the person square in the eyes when you do the above, it is all meaningless and I would interpret it as an insult.
Chris, I’m curious now. How does one shake the hand of an inflatable sex doll? (I may be a bit of a ‘square’, but I’ve never dated an inflatable sex doll, and, while I have no plans of doing so in the future, one never knows what situation may arise, so it is good to be prepared:)
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Years ago, I met a guy who used to deliberately pull people off balance the first time he shook hands with them. He used a web-to-web firm handshake but, once gripped, he would pull his hand toward himself. It was disconcerting, to say the least.
I put it down to “short man syndrome” as he was barely 5’6″ and seemed to need to do such things to reaffirm himself.