Gleeful Funk

George Clinton - Woodstock 1999

A few months ago my wife says to me “Dude, you should watch Glee.”

I can hear many of you groaning. “But Mulder, it’s on when Primetime Politics is on!”.  Well man cannot live on meat alone.  Sometimes some candy is good.  So I start watching it at week 2 and I am completely and utterly hooked.  Every week is full of music I know, songs and artists I grew up listening to and even some really rare gems that just make me reminisce.  Last night was no exception.

The finale of last night’s show was We Want The Funk, originally performed by George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic.  People might think I am a bit young to remember George but I actually got down and boogied to his music in 1999 at the Woodstock 30th Anniversary concert in Rome, NY.  See photo I took of George on that night 11 years ago.

I know I probably sound like a bunch of people around the water cooler but seriously.  Go back and watch the season via On Demand.  You will likely be pleasantly surprised at the show.  And if you find yourself singing to the music and tapping your feet week after week, you can thank me later.

One 4 The Troops

Just because they are all soldiers, they are patriotic, they are our friends to the south and they sing pretty darn good.

4Troops seems to be getting a lot of play and activity on the American networks these days. FoxNews this morning and Larry King tonight and a whole tour on the website. I say good on ’em and thank you for your service. I am a Canadian but I appreciate all that our Canadian soldiers do but I also really appreciate all that American soldiers do for the world too.

I hope these four go a long way to keeping that support for all the fine young women and men serving for the allies.

Kevin James In New Paul Blart Movie? Wearing Robes, He's In Briefs and He's In Drag!

I figure using this blog is my one shot at becoming a Saturday Night Live writer.  So here goes.

Kevin James, after a successful run as the King of Queens, and big screen success with Paul Blart: Mall Cop is back.  And this time he’s in drag.  After his success in saving the mall, Paul Blart starts a private investigator firm and goes deep deep deep undercover as a female lawyer named Elena.  He is so successful that he ends up getting posted to be the Dean of Harvard Business School  His mission almost gets exposed when he get’s nominated by President Barack Obama to be a Supreme Court Justice.

That’s right.  A Supreme Court Justice in…

Paul Blart 2:  Washington Mall Cop.
Kevin JamesElena Kagan

That’s James in the photo above…on the left.

That’s Elena Kagan, Supreme Court Justice nominee on the right. (I swear!!)

Lorne Michaels…you’re welcome.  Just email me at mulder at officiallyscrewed dot com to find out where to send my writer’s fee and residuals whenever Kevin James hosts the show in the future!!

George Carlin on Saving The Planet

This video clip is a bit dated, but considering more and more stores in Canada are starting to charge 5 cents for plastic shopping bags, I feel it is very appropriate. Al Gore and his environmentalistas could use a bit of good old fashioned George Carlin realism. Here is a perfect dose..

On the subject of charging for grocery bags, I have to say that I am all for minimizing garbage. But realistically, I can buy 100 Kitchen Catcher(tm) bags for about $5.00, or I can bring home plastic grocery bags for a nickel each. In either case I have trash bags for my kitchen for the same price. I just hate the fact that some stores are going to take the 5 cents per bag and donate it to charities that I may not want to support like the World Wildlife Fund.

Ironically, it is these same stores that send you half a pound of flyers in the mail twice a week without a single iota of environmental conscience.

Now THAT’S OfficiallyScrewed.

WARNING: THE VIDEO BELOW CONTAINS COURSE LANGUAGE NOT SUITABLE FOR SOME VIEWERS. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY COURSE LANGUAGE, DO NOT WATCH.

H/T: Nick V.

My Treasure Hunt

For 10 days CFRA radio along with three other affiliated stations here in Ottawa held a contest where they gave a clue to the whereabouts of a key to Colonel By’s treasure (which is $50,000 in cash).

I slowly collected each clue and worked on an answer until I came up with the location I believe the key is. Below is the list of clues and my answer.

Since the answer had to be entered today by three pm, I don’t mind sharing these results. The answer will be revealed Monday. I will let you know how I do.

Clue 1: Colonel By worked with five of the best contractors. Only one will be the right man. Name him.

Answer: Well I had a few and one was named Philemon Wright, but after reading more I discovered that Thomas McKay was the primary contractor so I went with:

McKay

Clue 2: There was a chap who leaked the tale of the treasure to me. He penned himself a bit of a book, but made no mention of the treasure. Funny how he only spent a few of these in Canada.

Answer: The author is a John MacTaggart who penned a book entitled “3 years in Canada”. So the answer is

Years

Clue 3: The year was 1819. No, No, it wasn’t. That’s something else. Where was I? Ah Yes. Today there’s an upper and lower but when I navigated my way to Bytown, I travelled rapidly through them.

Answer: This one could have been a few as there is an Upper and Lower Brewer’s Locks, an upper and lower Rideau Lake, but the rapidly through them leads me to think it is rapids and we have upper and lower

Nicholson’s Rapids

Clue 4: Here’s a combination to help you find the key: 45 22 75 43

Answer: I thought perhaps highways as three of the four are in Ontario with 43 being a prominent one in the area, but after looking at Google Earth I determined these co-ordinates are the lattitude and longitude that point ust west and slightly north of the Hog’s Back locks. Since it actually pointed to a street named Vanson with absolutely no tie to the rest of the clues, I left this blank. I was later told to not overthink it and that this could simply be pointing to

Ottawa

Clue 5: It was 1827. Between Wardsville and Edmund’s Rapids is where Colonel By first heard of my plan to capture his treasure.

Answer: Every map I looked at simply points to

Old Sly’s

Clue 6: The key to Colonel By’s Treasure, I have no doubt, is covered with this.

Answer: I originally thought it had to be water as sunken treasures seemed to fit with all the locks and the canal. But after getting clue 10, I simply thought I should change it to either Sand or Stone and since either fit the final answer I submitted, I just chose

Stone

Clue 7: Life jacket’s on. The treasure was carried on one of Captain Cook’s most famous ships, whose whereabouts is still a secret. Name it.

Research garnered a ship named

Endeavour

Clue 8: You’ve done well to come this far. Thomas and John were related in one way but not another. Find them in Canal Lore.

Answer: I first assumed this may be referring to Thomas McKay and John Redpath, two of the original contractors, but later was pointed to two gentleman named Burrowes and Burrows who both painted. So the answer I chose was

Burrowes

Clue 9: Google Y (WHY?) Your answer will be found on that page.

Since googling either Why, Y or Wie garnered littel so I used some Freud and said to myself ” sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and chose the letter

Y

Clue 10: Nag A Ram

Answer: Nag A Ram is an anagram for the word “anagram” so I assumed that the final clue means the answer is an anagram. I included the final clue answer which was

Anagram

Taking the first letter of each word, I came up with
M, Y, N, O, O, S, E, B, Y, and A

These letters can be rearranged to spell out

MOONEY’S BAY

If you took part in this contest, I urge you to post your answer in the comments. I am also open to opinions on my work.

CBC Has Dirty, Filthy, Nicotine-Stained Secret

This morning on the radio, I heard a short clip about a dirty little secret the CBC has. Or more accurately, two dirty little secrets.

There are apparently video and/or photos taken with a hidden camera of two smoking lounges located in the CBC’s Toronto facilities. Smoking lounges with nice, comfy sofas and ashtrays packed with cigarette butts.

It’s nice to know that private corporations in Ontario are legally mandated to be smoke free but the precious CBC can have not one, but TWO smoking rooms.

I have yet to see this in print, but as soon as I do, I will add to this blog post. You can read about this in the National Post.

Stay tuned.

(Note: I am not against smoking, as I, myself, smoked for over 18 years. I just think what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Keep your eyes open for a public announcement that these smoking rooms have been officially closed.)