Convenience Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

Mulder

Yesterday, I arrived home to my usual pile of mail which in this case included a parking ticket. My first in years.

I noticed on the bill that my payment options included:

  • via Internet at ottawa.ca (Visa or Mastercard only, with payment of a service charge)
  • By Telephone (24 hours, 7 days a week, Visa or Mastercard only, with payment of a service charge)
  • By Mail (address was provided, no service charge)
  • In person (hours provided, no service charge)

Being a net savvy surfer I chose the internet, surfed over and within two clicks had my infraction up and paid it. However, I noticed the service charge was listed as a Convenience Fee.

How Officially Screwed is this?

I can pay via electronic means, putting money directly into the city coffers (read no delay in them getting interest on my money), with no human interaction (read no insane salaried employee needed), without wasting gas to drive there (read being environmentally friendly), without wasting time (read being productive to society by not taking time out of my busy day), without waiting in a lineup (read without generating heat which the city’s air conditioners must compensate for), etc etc etc. Yet I am the one paying the convenience fee. The city should be giving me a discount instead of charging me additional service charges.

The choice to pay via the telephone is similar. The savings to the city when people choose this format is just as pronounced as using the internet.

Yet, should I go in, where a real live person needs to deal with me, or if I mail in my checque which a real live person must handle, process, verify, and deposit, I get off without paying the additional $1.50.

I am not griping about the $1.50. I believe it is a good price for a convenience fee. However, I do believe this convenience fee, should be going the other way.

Officially Screwed … again.

Smackdown Of The Week (May 27th, 2006)

Mulder

In today’s National Post, page A10, Sue Montgomery’s article entitled Guite will not call witnesses at fraud trial

Two good summer students could have produced that

These words were spoken by Jacques Nantel, a marketing professeur with the Montreal based Ecole des hautes etudes commerciales, with regards to Groupaction getting paid $500,000 for a report on what Ottawa could do to increase it’s visibility. This took place in Chuck Guite’s trial.

So what Mr. Nantel is saying is that we, the tax payers, paid Groupaction half a million dollars when we could have paid two summer students for the same quality of report. All I know is that when I worked summers between college, I made anywhere from $7000 to $12000 depending on the job I got that summer.

Are you feeling better about the Liberals getting tossed out on their ears yet? I know I sure am.

From Cooking The Books To Bedding Down With Bubba

Mulder

In what was one of the most anticipated trial outcomes, Enron executives Jeff Skilling and Kenneth Lay were both found guilty today.

This was a trial and a story I followed relatively closely. The Eichenwald book Conspiracy of Fools got me hooked with a novelistic approach to what happened leading up to the company crashing.

I, for one, am pleased to see that multimillion dollar earning execs don’t have free reign to lie to the public and cheat their shareholders. (which in this case was pretty much every employee due to the stock option plans).

Ken Lay was found guilty of all six charges and Skilling 19 of the 28 charges, albeit not insider trading. Lay, who is getting on in years will likely see the inside of a jail cell for the rest of his days. Skilling could potentially see 185 years behind bars.

Both men were released on $5 Million dollar bonds until their sentencing dates and appeals will be pending. From what Jeff Toobin of CNN says, chances are slim the appeals will get them off the hook, meaning they can expect to be clanging their water cups against the bars for years to come. I wonder if the lifestyle they have lived for 30 or 40 years will be worth the last few getting buggered by some 300 lb cellmate named Cletus.

After screwing Enron shareholders out of their life savings, Skilling and Lay are both officially screwed for life now. Good riddance.

MK Braaten (and North American Patriot) Is Are Packing It Up…

Mulder

… and bloggers like me are pretty bummed out over it.

MK Braaten had a special gift for putting a good financial spin on subjects. His work in clarifying the Income Trust scandal for Canadians was just great. His answers to “tax”ing questions was much appreciated and I urge Blogging Tories all over to drop by his site and send thanks (or beg him to blog on)

Thanks Matt. You will be missed by many of us who enjoyed dropping by to read your words.

Best of luck to you.

ADDENDUM:  North American Patriot is also packing it up.  This is truly a sad day.  Two of the bloggers I enjoy(ed) reading most have called it quits.  I want to point out WonderWoman (North American Patriot) was one of the most outspoken, strong voiced, (not to mention hot) blogging tories out there.  I had the pleasure of being part of a small crew with her that boycotted Tim Hortons for over 30 days until they agreed to open a Tim Horton’s at the Kandahar airport for our boys in Afghanistan.

She will also truly be missed by many bloggers on the right side of both center and issues.

Keep fighting the Legion of Doom in your own way WW.  Best of luck to you too.

The Defence Calls Osama bin Laden

Mulder

How could we have been so wrong about Zacarias Moussaoui and his role in the September 11th attacks? I am just dumbstruck that we would tie him to that fateful day. We obviously must be drastically wrong. How do I know this? Cuz Osama says so. And we all know how honourable a man he is. (Ahhhhhh-Choooooobullshitooooooooo)

Ok, Ok. Let me take my tongue out of my cheek for a minute.

Mr. bin Laden, will you please take the stand? I would gladly accept your testimony in the case of Moussaoui if you would just show up in court on the appropriate date. We would dearly love to enter your words as an expert on knowing who is a terrorist and who is not. The FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, Interpol, CSIS, Mossad, MI5 and 6, and whoever else has helped put the story together must have their facts wrong. The Bush administration would be glad to pay for your airfare to the trial location, all meals paid for. They might even spring for your dialysis while travelling and I would be positively CERTAIN that your hotel stay would be paid for … indefinately.

Please come and testify. Moussauoi needs you. America needs you. Guantanamo needs you. A big bald 400 lb guy named Bubba needs you … as a cellmate.

All you need to do is pick up an unsecure phone, dial 911 and tell the dispatcher where you are. I think they would glad to send over a personal escort with armed security guards and all the perks I even bet that if you ask nicely, they would let you flick the switch that turns on the siren and lights. Wouldn’t that be neat?

Roman Catholic Church Fights Back With Tough Words

Mulder

Macleans has an article on how the Roman Catholic churches in Quebec are using advertising that has heads turning.

The words, considered to be offensive in Quebec, are being posted in highly bold text on signs hanging outside the churches, or in bus shelter poster ads, and I am pretty sure they would show up in other places.

Some of the words being advertised with a dictionary explanation are Tabernacle, Sacrement, Hostie, Calisse, Sacristie, and Ciboire. (that I know of)

I personally think it is a great way for the church to get some attention with a legitimate angle of approach to advertising their wares, while educating on the meaning of their religious artifacts and words.

“There are a lot of people in our society who don’t even know what these words mean anymore,” said Rev. Jean Boyer, a Montreal priest who was visiting Notre-Dame Basilica on Sunday.

“We’re hoping once the shock passes, people will think more about the true meaning of the words. There are many young people who don’t even know that in old times this was blasphemy.”

It’s a uniquely Quebec problem for the church, says Monique Carmel, a linguist and professional translator.

I would have to disagree a bit with Monique Carmel on this one. Blasphemy is not unique to the French. In English, we have several blasphemous holdovers that people use all the time without realizing the religous context. Let’s start with some simple ones.

God Damn!! or God Damned!! – Pretty obvious.

Jesus H. Christ!! – Popular with those who think adding the H makes him officially a different Jesus Christ.

Geez..!! – cutting short from pronouncing the “..us Christ” – This is for those who are too lazy to say the three syllables or those who cut short when they realize what they are saying.

Gee!! – Another twist on Geez, or some say it is a derivative of God.

Egad!! – derivative of God. When people realized saying something more direct wasn’t very nice, they altered the wording somewhat. Sort of like when Dad used to say Shhhhh …. and then catch a glimpse of us kids and finish his word …… ute!!

Gadzooks!! – Another derivative of God. I am pretty sure I have heard this one in cartoons.

I’m probably just as guilty as most of using one or more of these now and then. But I thought I would do my part to educate those who may not be aware of what the words mean.

I would also like to make the bold prediction that these signs in Quebec will be the most stolen signs off bus shelters or bus advertising slots themselves by college kids looking for dorm room art.

(I hope I don’t get struck by lightning for typing all the words above.)

May Two Four? Or May Two By Four?

Mulder

It doesn’t matter if you are cracking open a case of Labatts blue, affectionately called a Two Four, or if you are helping a friend build that deck by hammering down a two by four. This long weekend is one that many Canadians relish more than any other through the summer as it indicates the beginning of the monthly string of Holidays running through to Labour Day.

Many know that the holiday is to celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday, but it is also the annual celebration of the birthday of the reigning Monarch. Since her crowning, over 50 years ago, Queen Elizabeth’s birthday has been celebrated on Victoria Day. This is not new and in fact there is historic record that many Monarch’s had their birthday celebrated on that of a former Monarch.

But in almost every case, the celebration was left on the previous Monarch’s birthday because the new Monarch ascended to the throne at an older age which meant if the date of the holiday was changed, it would just have to be changed again soon.

In the case of Queen Elizabeth, whose actual birthday is on April 21st, this has not been the case. Victoria was Queen for about 62 years. Elizabeth has been Queen for about 54 at the time of this posting.

Some out there think that the current Monarch of the Commonwealth deserves a nationally celebrated day due to her tenure as our Queen. I am not sure. I still know that if we do ever decide to add a new national holiday that Flag Day in February would be better. The winter blahs could use a boost and April already has the Easter break.

In any case, this weekend I will be cracking a few beers, trying to squeeze in some yardwork between thunderstorms, and probably setting off a few sparklers with the kids in honour of both Queen Victoria (God rest her soul) and Queen Elizabeth II (God Bless Her).

No, I’m not a staunch Monarchist, but I do believe in the civility that the position stands for. And getting a day off work ain’t so bad either!!

If you have the interest, you can read more about the recent Monarch’s birthdays here.

A safe weekend to all. Please don’t drink and drive.

Dogged By Press?? It's Just A Day In The Life of Sir McCartney

Mulder

After four years of marriage, vegetarianism and bashing the heads of seal hunters, Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney are separating.

“Our parting is amicable and both of us still care about each other very much but have found it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship with constant intrusion into our private lives, and we have actively tried to protect the privacy of our child.

“Separation for any couple is difficult enough, but to have to go through this so publicly, especially with a small daughter, is immensely stressful.

“We hope, for the sake of our baby daughter, that we will be given some space and time to get through this difficult period.”

Are they serious? When I heard this news on the radio this morning while driving to work, I actually laughed!! The absurdity of it all. I mean how much public scrutiny is too much for an ex-Beatle? The man has been swarmed, chased, had panties thrown his way, and had groupies track his every move. He has been met at airports by not only thousands of fans but by dignitaries, politicians and heads of state. The man was in, arguably, the most famous band in history. Yet the scrutiny is too much for him now?

I think there is something else going on here that we aren’t hearing about. Let me tell you why I think this.

  1. Stars these days seem to be using marriage, separation and divorce announcements to gain headlines.
  2. I had no clue the two had a daughter, yet they mention it three times in the short clip above.
  3. No pre-nup signed and he is 25 years her senior with a net worth in excess of a Billion dollars.

Something just smells fishy here. I think Paul just got officially screwed out of half of his fortune.

Bye Bye Liberal Gravy Train … errrr … Gun Registry

Mulder

Today, the Auditor General’s 2006 report came down hard on the management of costs of our gun registry. You can soften it with professional accounting terms, but the bottom line is that the gun registry is toast. They blew their budgets but not only that, they lied to parliament about the 2003-2004 fiscal year expenses.

The overrun of about $20 Million needed to be disclosed to parliament and was not. The Liberals will try to downplay it saying they consulted with legal and financial experts, but the bottom line is they still did not disclose it and pushed the expense out to the next fiscal year.

For those that are not familiar with this form of accounting, it is the same type of accounting that got Enron into trouble and is sending people to jail. It’s a shame Canadians are more easy-going than our American neighbours because if this had happened in the USA, there would be several people wearing black and white stripes and eating bread and water right now.

I highly urge you all to give it a gander. Once again, our Auditor General has probably saved Canadians not only millions, but probably billions. I just want to take this space to thank Sheila Fraser and her team.

A job well done.