Curse of Michael Buble – 2017 Edition

Today is the last day of the 2016-2017 NHL season.  And it is time again for me to bring up the Curse of Michael Buble.  Many ask, how could the Vancouver Canucks fall from such graces as getting to the 7th game of the NHL finals a few years ago and then turn into the unmitigated disaster that they have become the last 6 seasons since that 2011 final.  Even Don Cherry has no clue.

But us insiders know the truth.  It all comes down to the triple curse placed on the team by yours truly after Michael Buble said the bandwagon was too small for Canada to chear for his Canucks and that we should get our own team.  I think Michael Buble needs to give me a call and have me remove the curse.  With results like those below, what do you think?

2011 – They lost in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals after the curse was enacted before game 7.
2012 – They were a one seed and lost in 5 games to the lowly 8th seeded Los Angeles Kings.
2013 – They were a 3 seed and lost in 4 straight to the 6th seeded San Jose Sharks.
2014 – They missed the playoffs for the first time since the 2007-2008 season
2015 – They were the second seed in the Pacific division and lost in 6 games in the first round to the lower ranked Calgary Flames.
2016 – They finished 2nd last in the Western Conference missing the playoffs
2017 – They missed the playoffs and will finish the season as one of the worst 2 or 3 teams in the Western Conference

The triple curse.

ACK ACK ACK!  SIX SIX SIX, Number of the Beast!  Noonan!!

And so seven straight years of hockey misery sits firmly on the shoulders of the crooner.

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Hey Michael Buble. I am still waiting to hear from you.

In 2011 I cursed the Vancouver Canucks.

Sure.  Go ahead and laugh.  I did it before game 7 against the Bruins and the Canucks have been losing in the playoffs ever since.  Even Don Cherry said it could not be explained.

It’s all because of Michael Buble.

So I am performing my annual reinforcement of the curse tonight.

The Malocia, The Devil’s Curse and The Noonan.

I will keep waiting for your response Buble.

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Ooomphhhh! That had to hurt!!!

Robin Lehner and Clarke MacArthur of the Ottawa Senators collide during Feb 16th, 2015 game against Carolina.

Robin Lehner and Clarke MacArthur of the Ottawa Senators collide during Feb 16th, 2015 game against Carolina.

At least Ottawa can say they have a better shot at Connor McDavid with both goalies on the sidelines.

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Even Don Cherry Has No Explanation For The Canucks. But I Do. It’s the Curse of Michael Buble.

During the March 8th episode of Don Cherry’s Coach’s Corner, at approximately the 2:00 minute mark, Grapes starts uttering these words.

“How did the Vancouver Canucks, from three years ago could go from the President’s Trophy, 7th game, to there is an absolute shame.”

Seriously Don? Did you NOT know that the night before the 7th game in the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals I cursed the Vancouver Canucks?? This is The Curse of Michael Buble!!!

So if Don Cherry has no explanation for how the Canucks can have dropped so fast and to such depths, all he has to do is google “The Curse of Michael Buble.”

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The Curse of Michael Buble – Screwing Over Canuck Fans Since 2011

I am starting to scare myself.

3 years ago when Michael Buble said that Vancouver Canucks were Vancouver’s team and not Canada’s team, I cursed them.

Reason for the Curse of Michael Buble

Click to Enlarge

That’s right. Me. A scientific individual resorted to the three pronged curse invoking some pretty powerful stuff!!! Right in the heart of the finals against Boston in 2011. To rehash from my 2012 blogpost:

I gave this the good old triple curse.
First you take your index finger and touch the lid of one closed eye (with the other open) and you say “ACK ACK ACK”. This is the Malochia or Evil Eye. Then you give the Devil’s curse and say “SIX SIX SIX, number of the beast.”
This is all followed by the ultimate sports curse from the movie Caddyshack. This is simple in that you just say “Noonan!!”
Put it all together and you have a very powerful curse. In this case, the Curse of Michael Buble!!!.
“ACK ACK ACK!! SIX SIX SIX! Number of the Beast! NOONAN!!”

And what has happened so far?

2011 – They lost in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
2012 – They were a one seed and lost in 5 games to the lowly 8th seeded Los Angeles Kings.
2013 – They were a 3 seed and lost in 4 straight to the 6th seeded San Jose Sharks.

I am going to anxiously wait by the phone for Mr. Buble’s phone call telling me Vancouver’s bandwagon (if they ever make the finals) is big enough for all of Canada….Provided they are not playing another Canadian team that is.

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Lance “My” Armstrong”er With Steroids” Fading From History

I visited the official Tour de France website and searched for “Armstrong” and only one article came up and his name was in a sideline quote, not the main point.

Then I went to Wikipedia to look at the winners of the tour through history and saw this. (Note: The gap from 1999 to 2006 is pretty glaring.)

 No Lance

Pick your heroes wisely.

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The Curse Of Michael Buble – 2 Playoff Years (2011-2012) and Counting

Well I must say that although I knew the Curse of Michael Buble was strong and would prevent the Vancouver Canucks from ever winning Lord Stanley’s Cup, I never thought that it would be strong enough to curse the team so that they (a number 1 seed) would lose in 5 games to the lowly 8th seeded Los Angelas Kings.

I think my work this year is complete. And just so you all know what I am referring to, a year ago, in the Stanley Cup finals, when the only Canadian team left was Vancouver, Michael Buble told Canada to get their own team and that the Canucks were Vancouver’s team. Well this got my dander up so I cursed the Vancouver Canucks. i.e. the Curse of Michael Buble. So long as he feels the Canucks bandwagon is not big enough for all Canadians, the Vancouver Canucks shall NEVER win the Stanley Cup.

I gave this the good old triple curse.

First you take your index finger and touch the lid of one closed eye (with the other open) and you say “ACK ACK ACK”. This is the Malochia or Evil Eye. Then you give the Devil’s curse and say “SIX SIX SIX, number of the beast.”

This is all followed by the ultimate sports curse from the movie Caddyshack. This is simple in that you just say “Noonan!!”

Put it all together and you have a very powerful curse. In this case, the Curse of Michael Buble!!!.

“ACK ACK ACK!! SIX SIX SIX! Number of the Beast! NOONAN!!”

So were the Canucks cursed and so they have not won the cup for two years.

Beware the Curse of Michael Buble.

How does this fit on this blog? Because the Canucks are OfficiallyScrewed!!!

p.s. The only Canadian team left is the Ottawa Senators and although I am a Maple Leaf fan, I am cheering them on and am proud to say that their bandwagon IS big enough for anyone who wants to cheer them on. Go Sens Go!!

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The Curse of Michael Buble

I traditionally cheer for any Canadian team in the playoffs.

Not this year. I have been cheering for the Bruins and it is all because of Michael Buble.

I heard he told Canada that the Canucks are NOT Canada’s team and that they are Vancouver’s team and that the rest of Canada can go find their own team.

I found some supporting evidence of this here.

So if…errr….when the Canucks lose in game 7 tonight, I will officially be calling it the Curse of Michael Buble and until he makes room on the bandwagon for any Canadian, the Canucks will NEVER win a cup.

So beware the Curse of Michael Buble.

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OfficiallyScrewed.com Annual NCAA Basketball Bracket Challenge

As many of you know, all politics and no sports makes Steve a dull boy. So as I do every year, I will be running an NCAA men’s basketball March Madness bracket challenge.

I usually get about 7 entrants so in an effort to do better I am opening this pool up to the public. Feel free to click the link below to join the pool. Note it is run completely online via Yahoo Fantasy sports and is strictly for fun and bragging rights.

I will try to make it a bit interesting by saying if we get 50 entrants, I will order the winner an OfficiallyScrewed.com baseball hat and if we hit 100 entrants I will give first place an OfficiallyScrewed.com T-Shirt and the second place entrant an OfficiallyScrewed.com baseball hat. NOTE: to collect a prize you must provide your email address so I can confirm who you are afterwards.

I know, I know, big spender!!! We ARE in a recession so cut me some slack. :-)

To join, simply click the link below and go deal with the Yahoo application process if you are not already signed up as a Yahoo user.

http://tinyurl.com/OS-NCAA-Pool

Feel free to invite any friends or family you have.

Important Dates: Sunday March 13th at 5 or 6pm – Brackets are set live on CBS.
Thursday March 17th – noon – First tip off. Your brackets MUST be completely selected through to the championship BEFORE the first game tips off. This is important. DO NOT SIMPLY SELECT THE FIRST ROUND.

Use the comments to ask questions and good luck.

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Canadian Medical Association Comes Out Against Pro Choice

The Canadian Medical Association has come out indirectly against abortions in Canada by stating they are against Mixed Martial Arts.

What this really amounts to is an attack on self determination and on what a man chooses to do with his own body. MMA fighters are grown men making decisions of their own free will.

An extended analogy yes. But an accurate one nonetheless.

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