{"id":754,"date":"2007-02-03T16:51:52","date_gmt":"2007-02-03T21:51:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/blog\/?p=754"},"modified":"2007-02-03T16:51:52","modified_gmt":"2007-02-03T21:51:52","slug":"global-warming-brings-end-to-religion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/?p=754","title":{"rendered":"Global Warming Brings End To Religion"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"image753\" align=\"Right\" src=\"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/02\/limpwick.jpg\" alt=\"Limp Wick\" \/>Churches have lots of candles.<\/p>\n<p>In recent years, the number of churches going up in flames has increased.<\/p>\n<p>The primary reason is believed to be &#8220;limp wick&#8221; syndrome made popular by Al Gore. (Unlike the opposite syndrome which Bill Clinton suffers from.)<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Limp wick&#8221; is when warm air causes candles to tip over spilling wax and red hot wicks to the ground igniting carpeting.  Due to the rise in this syndrome fire departments all across the world are closing up churches.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Limp wick&#8221; is attributed to Global Warming.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t make this up &#8230;  I&#8217;m not allowed to do that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Churches have lots of candles. In recent years, the number of churches going up in flames has increased. The primary reason is believed to be &#8220;limp wick&#8221; syndrome made popular by Al Gore. (Unlike the opposite syndrome which Bill Clinton suffers from.) &#8220;Limp wick&#8221; is when warm air causes candles to tip over spilling wax [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[19,25,35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-754","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-environment","category-humour","category-msm-bias"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/754","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=754"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/754\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=754"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=754"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/officiallyscrewed.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}