It’s a hot sticky Friday night. Since I look like a narc, I have made sure I haven’t shaved for three days, toss an old Grateful Dead T-Shirt and a beaten up Ottawa Senators hat and head down to Lowertown in Ottawa. As I glide my Honda through the streets, I keep an eye overhead for a sign.
About 5 minutes in, I spot them. An old pair of sneakers tangled up in the overhead wiring. I slowly pull my truck over and wait.
Out of the darknes a shady looking guy with an oversized T-shirt and baggy pants comes over and leans in the window of my truck.
- “Whatcha want man?”
“Whatcha got?”, I ask.
“I have some Killer X, man.”
“Killex?? I’ll take three cans.”, I reply.
“How about some weed, my friend. You interested in some weed?”
“Sure”, I say, “Weedex is perfect. Give me two big bottles.”
“How about some fungus, man? You need some fungus?”
“Damn straight I reply. Give me a couple of batches of antifungal.”
“Now man … you need some doses?”
“Nah… but I’ll have me some nice roses.” I reply. “See you next year my friend.”
This may seem a bit farfetched. But is it really? Look what happens when cigarettes hit $7 or $8 a pack? Everyone and their brother starts buying them out of the back of some guys trunk who has a friend who knows the cousin of the secretary for an agency that hires a manpower guy who used to fix cars for a mechanic who also fixes the car of some lady whose son knows a guy with a boat that skims from a native reserve to and from Cornwall weekly.
In addition to Premier of Ontario, Yellow Bellied McShifty, announcing that the use of chemical pesticides use will be banned, this past week the Supreme Court of Canada said that random searches are illegal, which sent left leaning ACLU types partying into the streets.
This begs the question…
If I have a stash of these illegal pesticides hidden under a tarp in my garage, would having a beautiful, safe, green lawn be enough probable cause for the cops to search my home for the contraban?